May 13, 2013

The Truth About Sibling Rivalries


The headline flashed across the webpage like a lightning bolt in a thunderstorm: “Brother, 12, arrested in fatal stabbing of 8-year-old California girl."

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/05/12/brother-arrested-in-fatal-california-stabbing-girl/

My heart broke. I remember hearing the news report last week that an 8 year old girl was fatally stabbed in her home in California and that the police were on a manhunt for the killer. But when I read that they had arrested her 12 year old brother and were charging him with murder I just couldn’t wrap my head around it.

I’m the oldest out of three siblings. I’m also the only girl. My brothers are younger than me and we are all close in age. I was born in 1988, Anthony in 1991, and Sal in 1993. Even though I’m only 3 years older than Anthony it always seemed that he and Sal had a stronger bond when it came to doing things together. Sure I could still play and hang out with them but they seemed to have a closer connection and when I was younger it bothered me.

But soon we grow up and start to go to school and as the grades begin to rise the closeness that siblings have starts to fade. We all had our own friends and liked different activities, music, and games. Even with all the differences between the three of us we loved each other unconditionally and wouldn’t let others pick on our siblings or make them feel left out. We had each other’s backs and no one could take that bond away from us.

“An ounce of blood is worth more than a pound of friendship.”

Did we get on each other’s nerves? We sure did. I remember arguing over what music to listen to in the car on the way to school. I wanted to listen to *Nsync, Anthony wanted to listen to Country, and Sal wanted to listen to what I was listening to at the time. At the time I didn’t feel bad for Anthony or even think that we were double-teaming him, but now that I look at it maybe Sal and I were. But there have been times that they’ve done the same to me and turnabout is fair game so I don’t hold a grudge.

This news story made me think about sibling rivalry and what could’ve driven this boy to kill his younger sister. I asked my two brothers today if growing up they had ever wanted to kill me. Jokingly they said “yes” because I was so annoying (I knew they were kidding). But what do you do when the rivalry goes beyond joking and goofing around and ends up like that news story? Below are some tips I found for parents and even older siblings to diffuse the sibling rivalry before it gets out of hand.


To this day I still love my brothers. I don’t know what I would do without them. Yes we fight and argue and say things we don’t mean but that’s what goes on when you have a sibling. I know that if I ever need to talk or just get away from the house for awhile I can ask one of them to catch a movie with me or take a car ride and get something to eat. Through thick and thin, whatever life throws at us, I have their backs and they have mine and I’m happy and proud to say that I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you guys, even though some days you drive me crazy!!
 

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