Maintenance Sucks!

Due to unforeseen technical problems beyond my control (basically the power company was playing around with the electric-over 1000 people had no power yesterday) my blog was delayed. But I'm back and I'm excited to share what I found out from Ancestry.com.

As I was digging through my mom's side of the family I discovered my poppy's father (great grandfather) had actually died of a cerebral hemorrhage. This information I had already know about because my grandfather had shared it with already. But what I discovered after this was crazy!

I found out that my great grandfather's mom (2x's great grandmother) had also died of a cerebral hemorrhage, but it didn't stop there. I was also able to find a death certificate for one of my great-grandfathers aunt's (2x's great grand aunt) that showed she too died of a cerebral hemorrhage.

So far I haven't been able to find anything else that links any other family member to 'death by cerebral hemorrhage, but then again I'm still finding my way around (when it comes to looking for records).

Below I'm going to share my 2x's great grand aunts death certificate and a photo of her, which I also found by digging a little deeper into the past.

PS: Sorry about having to make the death certificate so large it's the only way to see all the information. Also, my 2x's great grand aunt was married '4' times so her name was different at the time of her death (just to clarify).

My 2x's great grand aunt (Elizabeth Ward)

 

Hmmm...

Sometimes things need to just stay in the past. But other times it's fun to go back in time and see what the past can tell us. I was poking around my Ancestry tree again and found some more interesting info that I thought would make for a good blog tomorrow. Stay tuned and just to give you a hint it has to do with health and death. Feel free to leave guesses and comments below!

Feeling Creative

I was going through some of my old poetry. Wow what a walk down memory lane that was! I thought I would share one of the poems I wrote back in high school. Maybe I'll share more in the future. Guess you'll just have to see!

I HAD YOU

 

Your smile made everyone smile.

Your laugh made everyone laugh.

Your hugs made everyone warm.

Your food made everyone full.

Your spirit kept everyone together.

But since you're gone, so is everyone else.

The smiles are not smiles.

The laughs are not laughs.

The hugs are not warm.

The food is not filling.

Your spirit is not remembered.

But I do. I remember all of this.

And I miss it so.

You'll be in my heart.

I love you.

 

 

In memory of all those I've lost;

I will see you again!

Moving Forward

The blog below is raw and real. The text describes my feelings about certain people who will not be named and what I've seen and felt for the past 5 years. Proceed with caution:

Sooner or later you grow up. It's inevitable. It happens to everyone and depending on the person and the situation it can be easy or hard. For me I wanted to grow up fast. I couldn't wait to be done with high school, go onto college, get a job, and be on my own. But life never turns out the way you think it's going to.

I got married when I was 21. Some people thought I made a mistake or that their son made a mistake in getting married, but if I had to do it all over again I would. I don't regret the decisions I've made in my life because I love my life (I just wish my dad and poppy were here with me still). However, there are just some things I wish I could erase.

What do you do when it comes to overbearing parents? I'm not referring to mine because they've always treated me like an adult and respect boundaries when it comes to my marriage. I know that they care about me and love me to death, but they know when to butt in and when to stay out. What I'm talking about is my husband's parents lack of respect towards him as an adult.

The respect towards me and my family went out the window a long time ago, so I just shrugged it off and tried to ignore them. But when it comes to my husband and the way he's treated I can't stand by and not say or do something. The amount of pain I feel for him eats me up inside. What's worse is to have to sit by and watch them blatantly disrespect him (either to his face or behind his back).

When he tries to talk to them and let him know how he feels forget it. It just goes in one ear and out the other. One of the hardest things for me is to have to sit there and watch my mother-in-law flat out lie and say how much her son means to her and how much she loves him and misses him. It just makes my blood boil. She only misses him because he's not around to do things for her and be her little 'errand boy'. She doesn't have someone to kick around anymore and that pisses her off.

When it comes to his father and brother they're not any better. They lie right to his face and promise my husband things and then don't follow through with the promise they made. They use him just like his mother did. They all think that lying, stealing, and cheating is OK to do, newsflash it's NOT!!! What really hurt me the most of all was when my husband did have the courage to stand up to them. He stood there and asked for space and for them to back off but his words just fell on deaf ears and nothing changed.

I sat by for 4 years and kept my mouth shut. I wonder if I should have done that for so long. I was taught to respect your elders, but what do you do when you're not getting the respect back? When are you supposed to stand up for yourself? How long should you keep getting stabbed in the back and be someones punching bag? I think these questions will haunt me for a long time.

 

My husband and I are slowly picking up the pieces and putting them back together. It's not easy. Some days I wanted to give up. Some days he wanted to give up. But we supported each other and made it through the storm. I wish I could say that things are gonna be easier, but I don't know that, nobody does. I pray we'll find a silver lining in all this darkness. Only time will tell.



http://www.amazon.com/Toxic-In-Laws-Strategies-Protecting-Marriage/dp/0060507853/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1375587354&sr=8-6&keywords=toxic+parents

P.S. I recommend this book to anyone going through in-law issues. I only wish I would've found it sooner rather than later.

Found That Spark!

I took some time and got back to me. I got back to who I was and I think I found parts of me that have been missing for some time now. I'm not completely put back together, but I'm getting there.

Being able to sit down with my husband and reconnect and discuss a lot of things on our minds was exactly what I needed to do. Sitting there with him and hashing everything out just ignited such a spark in me, I actually feel like a love-sick kid again, but in the best way.

I thought that for the longest time that I would have to always fight for my husband to be in my life. I had to fight with his family and tried so hard to prove that I was good enough for him. But in the process of doing this I actually took away pieces of myself. Pieces of me that my husband initially fell in love with.

Standing up to his family has never been easy for him and it definitely wasn't easy for me either. I'm sure it's not easy for a person to do with their family. So I thought that I had to be his voice for him, but in all actuality I was deameaning him just like his family had done and still tries to do to this day.

These past few months haven't been the easiest for either of us. But through it all we've stuck by each other. Sure we've argued and said things we didn't mean, but no marriage is perfect. It's the little cracks that can falter a marriage, but if you work together to mend those cracks soon enough you won't be broken anymore.

This blog was about us saving each other. I've said in previous blogs that no one's life is perfect (not even mine) and it's the truth. Whether you have one rainy day out of the year or a dozen right in a row just remember that the person by your side is there for you. Through thick or thin my husband has been there for me and I'll continue to be there for him.

Thankful

I'm thankful that I married my husband. Thankful that through the good and the bad we will always love one another. Thankful that my Mom is still here on this earth. Thankful that she still wants to help me no matter how old I get. Thankful that I have my brothers to turn to when I need them the most. Thankful that they can make me laugh when I'm being too serious. Thankful that I was able to spend the time I had with my Poppy and Dad before they were called back home.

Today was a day for me to be thankful for the people I have/had in my life.

So what are you thankful for?

My Favorite Movie



This is my all time favorite movie!!

Directed by Steven Spielberg in 1975, the movie Jaws is actually based on the novel of the same name by author Peter Benchley. The film stars Roy Scheider (Chief Martin Brody), Richard Dreyfuss (Matt Hooper), Robert Shaw (Quint), Lorraine Gary (Ellen Brody), and Murray Hamilton ( Mayor Larry Vaughn).

The above links for Jaws, the actors/actresses, the director, and author can explain why this movie was so amazingly great, a lot better than I ever could here on paper. So if you would, please read.

Also, besides the stellar cast and crew was the music behind the film. Enter legendary music director John Williams, who came up with the most terrifying music sequence in film history. And to think it all started with just three little notes. Take a listen below to see what I mean.

http://youtu.be/mWLO4acMTCM

 

To this day that music still sends shivers down my spine, especially when I'm near water. You just never know what could be lurking underneath that glassy surface. I don't think it matters how old I get, I'll always have a craving to watch Jaws, even though it's made it where I never want to go into the ocean for a swim...lol.

 

Jaws vs. Martin Brody (aka Roy Scheider)