Moving Forward

The blog below is raw and real. The text describes my feelings about certain people who will not be named and what I've seen and felt for the past 5 years. Proceed with caution:

Sooner or later you grow up. It's inevitable. It happens to everyone and depending on the person and the situation it can be easy or hard. For me I wanted to grow up fast. I couldn't wait to be done with high school, go onto college, get a job, and be on my own. But life never turns out the way you think it's going to.

I got married when I was 21. Some people thought I made a mistake or that their son made a mistake in getting married, but if I had to do it all over again I would. I don't regret the decisions I've made in my life because I love my life (I just wish my dad and poppy were here with me still). However, there are just some things I wish I could erase.

What do you do when it comes to overbearing parents? I'm not referring to mine because they've always treated me like an adult and respect boundaries when it comes to my marriage. I know that they care about me and love me to death, but they know when to butt in and when to stay out. What I'm talking about is my husband's parents lack of respect towards him as an adult.

The respect towards me and my family went out the window a long time ago, so I just shrugged it off and tried to ignore them. But when it comes to my husband and the way he's treated I can't stand by and not say or do something. The amount of pain I feel for him eats me up inside. What's worse is to have to sit by and watch them blatantly disrespect him (either to his face or behind his back).

When he tries to talk to them and let him know how he feels forget it. It just goes in one ear and out the other. One of the hardest things for me is to have to sit there and watch my mother-in-law flat out lie and say how much her son means to her and how much she loves him and misses him. It just makes my blood boil. She only misses him because he's not around to do things for her and be her little 'errand boy'. She doesn't have someone to kick around anymore and that pisses her off.

When it comes to his father and brother they're not any better. They lie right to his face and promise my husband things and then don't follow through with the promise they made. They use him just like his mother did. They all think that lying, stealing, and cheating is OK to do, newsflash it's NOT!!! What really hurt me the most of all was when my husband did have the courage to stand up to them. He stood there and asked for space and for them to back off but his words just fell on deaf ears and nothing changed.

I sat by for 4 years and kept my mouth shut. I wonder if I should have done that for so long. I was taught to respect your elders, but what do you do when you're not getting the respect back? When are you supposed to stand up for yourself? How long should you keep getting stabbed in the back and be someones punching bag? I think these questions will haunt me for a long time.

 

My husband and I are slowly picking up the pieces and putting them back together. It's not easy. Some days I wanted to give up. Some days he wanted to give up. But we supported each other and made it through the storm. I wish I could say that things are gonna be easier, but I don't know that, nobody does. I pray we'll find a silver lining in all this darkness. Only time will tell.



http://www.amazon.com/Toxic-In-Laws-Strategies-Protecting-Marriage/dp/0060507853/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1375587354&sr=8-6&keywords=toxic+parents

P.S. I recommend this book to anyone going through in-law issues. I only wish I would've found it sooner rather than later.