I Miss You

http://youtu.be/ZQJh-oU0M9Y

Continuing on from yesterday's late night entry (you can still respond to that after reading this if you'd like) I was reminiscing about my Poppy. I reminisced about the conversations that we used to share and without me even saying a word he knew when something was wrong.

Some days are better than others, but on those days when it's really bad I just break down and cry. I think that I cry because even though I have my husband and mom around to talk to about things I still wish that my Poppy was here because he always put things in a way that made me feel better.

One of those instances was when my husband was overseas in Iraq and I felt really alone and didn't know how I was going to be able to deal with him being so far away for so long. I remember going down to my Poppy's and crying and he just sat there and let me cry and get it all out.

 

When I was done crying he gave me a hug and kiss and told me everything would be ok. He also told me that I needed to be strong for my husband because what he was doing wasn't easy and he needed all the love and support he could get from me.

In those few sentences he actually saved my marriage. Not having my husband home wasn't easy and when you're thousands of miles away it's even harder when you have an argument because there is no hug to say you're sorry or kiss to make it feel better. But my husband and I got through it thanks to my Poppy and his loving and caring advice.

I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again until the day I pass away and him again. I love and miss you Poppy and I can never thank you enough for everything you did for me. I hope I make you proud when you see me because that's all I've ever wanted. And I know I will see you again <3

Forever and Always

June 9, 2010

Let's Talk About....

I sat here today reminiscing about a lot of things that have gone on in my past. Now while I'm not ready to write about them today (I will be making a blog tomorrow about this), but it got me thinking about something.

What do you reminisce about? Does it involve your family, friends, ex-lovers, or a job? If you do reminisce does it happen a lot or every once in a while when your feeling down and out?

Feel free to leave some comments below this post and let me know what your reminiscing about and tomorrow you'll have the opportunity to see what I was missing today!

http://pinterest.com/pin/157837161912591754/

Two Dollars and a Dream (Some Luck Doesn't Hurt Too!)

Money. It's what runs the world and keeps people moving. Everyone wants and needs money and sometimes we do crazy things to get it. Getting the money would be easier if it grew on tree's, sadly this isn't the case. How amazing would it be to have to spend only $2 and suddenly end up becoming a millionaire? Almost too good to be true?

Well thanks to the lottery game Powerball anyone 18 and older has the chance to do just that. I know what you’re probably thinking: the odds of winning are astronomical and you'd be right in saying that. The odds for the current Powerball Jackpot worth $600 million are a staggering 1 in 175,223,510 (the article below puts the odds into a wake-up perspective for some).

http://www.cnn.com/2013/05/16/us/powerball-jackpot/index.html?iref=allsearch

Some of the odds listed in the article certainly popped the bubble that was growing in my head. Take for example the fact that you have a better chance getting struck by lightning than you do winning the Powerball Jackpot. It certainly puts a downer on things, but it still doesn't stop people from buying the tickets and definitely doesn't stop some people from coming up with a way to beat the game.

http://www.how-to-win-powerball.info/

I thought you all should know that while I was out with my mom grocery shopping I purchased 5 tickets. I know spending $10 like that probably wasn't money savvy (I heard it a bit from my mom). But I don't play the lottery every day like some people do, so I don't really see a problem with increasing my odds, just a little bit.



 

 

Like the saying says "A Dollar and a Dream" is all it takes. Well in my case it took $10 but I'll just wait and see what happens on Saturday. If you don't take chances in this world and live a little you're just not living in my opinion.

Believing is Seeing

https://www.chicklingosigns.com/our-products/

 

Fairytales pull you into this amazing world and won’t let you go until you’re ready to leave. As you get older you’re taught that fairytales aren’t real. You have to grow up and pull your head out of the clouds to make it in the ‘real world.’ So what happens when you discover that the ‘real world’ you’re living in actually has fairytale characters here too?

http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/once-upon-a-time

Click on the link above and you’ll be transported to a webpage where you realize that fairytales don’t have to end as you grow up. In all actuality your life can be a fairytale. You might be like Cinderella and have evil stepmother/stepsisters and have to work non-stop. Maybe your life is more like Peter Pan, the boy who never wants to grow up and stay in Neverland forever. So which fairytale character do you think fits you the best?

“Well, some people use their imagination.” – Belle from Beauty and the Beast

When I was little I thought I was more like Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Belle loved books. They were her life and you could always find her reading one when she wasn’t helping her father. To this day I still love all of my books. They mean everything to me and I take pride and great care in them. But what happens when the fairytale character you believe you are when you’re little, changes as you get older?

I’ve come to adore Alice in Wonderland. The book, the movie adaptations, everything about Alice makes me envious. There are times that I wish I could step into the looking glass and disappear for a few days. Maybe play with the Cheshire Cat or perhaps have some tea with the March Hare and Mad Hatter. Sure everyone in the ‘real world’ thinks that Alice is mad and has lost her head (figuratively not literally-that’s up to the Queen of Hearts). Ponder the idea for a moment though; what if this were possible? Well thanks to ABC it is.

“Curiouser and curiouser!” – Alice from Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

I’m a huge fan of the OUAT (Once Upon A Time) series that runs on ABC every Sunday night. I’ll never forget watching the pilot episode and wishing that this could be reality. As the season progressed the series just got better and better, especially when the introduced the Mad Hatter into the storyline. It made me wish that they would incorporate more of Wonderland and sure enough the creators did in the following episodes.

You can imagine my excitement then when I heard rumor of a spin-off from OUAT that would involve the setting of Wonderland and breathe new life back into the beloved old story. The new series is called Once Upon a Time in Wonderland (OUATIW) and will be airing Thursday nights on ABC in the fall. The trailer that was released today looks, in my opinion, very promising to say the least.

http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/once-upon-a-time-in-wonderland?nord=1

So don’t be afraid. Take a peek down the rabbit hole with me. You don’t know what you’ll find down there and you might just be surprised. Maybe you’ll see a younger you playing a game of croquet with the Queen of Hearts. Or perhaps you should have a bite of the juicy, red apple from the Evil Queen and you just might end up in your own fairytale come true.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/103692991/print-of-quote-from-disneys-cinderella-a

 

The Truth About Sibling Rivalries

The headline flashed across the webpage like a lightning bolt in a thunderstorm: “Brother, 12, arrested in fatal stabbing of 8-year-old California girl."

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/05/12/brother-arrested-in-fatal-california-stabbing-girl/

My heart broke. I remember hearing the news report last week that an 8 year old girl was fatally stabbed in her home in California and that the police were on a manhunt for the killer. But when I read that they had arrested her 12 year old brother and were charging him with murder I just couldn’t wrap my head around it.

I’m the oldest out of three siblings. I’m also the only girl. My brothers are younger than me and we are all close in age. I was born in 1988, Anthony in 1991, and Sal in 1993. Even though I’m only 3 years older than Anthony it always seemed that he and Sal had a stronger bond when it came to doing things together. Sure I could still play and hang out with them but they seemed to have a closer connection and when I was younger it bothered me.

But soon we grow up and start to go to school and as the grades begin to rise the closeness that siblings have starts to fade. We all had our own friends and liked different activities, music, and games. Even with all the differences between the three of us we loved each other unconditionally and wouldn’t let others pick on our siblings or make them feel left out. We had each other’s backs and no one could take that bond away from us.

“An ounce of blood is worth more than a pound of friendship.”

Did we get on each other’s nerves? We sure did. I remember arguing over what music to listen to in the car on the way to school. I wanted to listen to *Nsync, Anthony wanted to listen to Country, and Sal wanted to listen to what I was listening to at the time. At the time I didn’t feel bad for Anthony or even think that we were double-teaming him, but now that I look at it maybe Sal and I were. But there have been times that they’ve done the same to me and turnabout is fair game so I don’t hold a grudge.

This news story made me think about sibling rivalry and what could’ve driven this boy to kill his younger sister. I asked my two brothers today if growing up they had ever wanted to kill me. Jokingly they said “yes” because I was so annoying (I knew they were kidding). But what do you do when the rivalry goes beyond joking and goofing around and ends up like that news story? Below are some tips I found for parents and even older siblings to diffuse the sibling rivalry before it gets out of hand.

http://childdevelopmentinfo.com/ages-stages/school-age-children-development-parenting-tips/sibling_rivalry.shtml

To this day I still love my brothers. I don’t know what I would do without them. Yes we fight and argue and say things we don’t mean but that’s what goes on when you have a sibling. I know that if I ever need to talk or just get away from the house for awhile I can ask one of them to catch a movie with me or take a car ride and get something to eat. Through thick and thin, whatever life throws at us, I have their backs and they have mine and I’m happy and proud to say that I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you guys, even though some days you drive me crazy!!

 

Without You I'd be Nothing In This World

Writing this blog today was a no brainer. Today is Mother's Day and I wanted to express how much I love and care about my Mom for all the things she's done for me and still does for me. So Mom read below because this one's for you:

Mom,

It's hard to find the words to express what you've done for me and what you still do for me each and every day. You've always encouraged me to reach for the stars and not give up on my dreams. Even when I feel like I can't accomplish something your always right there pushing me to do it and giving me the confidence that I can. Whenever I have a problem or just need somewhere to go I know your home will always been my safe haven. Spending time in your home and having a place I can go to and just rant and cry about what's bothering me and you're still able to hear every word, no matter how garbled or fast it comes out of my mouth.

Without you Mom I don't know if I would've been able to handle everything that life has thrown at me. Losing Poppy was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through (I was breaking but you still held me together) and each day I still struggle with it and I know that you do to. But I love you even more for that because you don't hide that you still miss him each and everyday and that doesn't make me feel foolish when I start to cry. Losing Dad took it's toll on everyone, especially you Mom and even though we knew what to expect with the cancer it still hurt to have to say goodbye. I wish that I could take the hurt away Mom so you don't have to anymore because you don't deserve it.

You've been the shoulder to cry on and the rock that everybody went to when they needed help. I want to be that for you and I hope you know that whenever you need or want my help all you have to do is ask and I will be there for you just like you've been there for me. You are undoubtedly my best friend and I know I don't have to hide who I am around you because you love me unconditionally no matter what. God put you here on this earth Mom, not just for me but for my brothers as well. You know all our quirks and know just what to do to make us laugh or smile and for that Mom I can't thank you enough.

You know that I could sit here and go on and list everything you've ever done for me and I'd still probably be missing a few things because you're memory was always better than mine. So in closing this letter I'll just say this; I can never thank you enough for everything you do for me and my brothers. All the thank you's in the world wouldn't add up to the heart and soul you have. Without you Mom I'd be that lost ship in the sea with no idea where I was heading but your that wind that pushes me in the right direction everytime, even if I don't know it all the time. I love you Mom so very much and hope to repay you someday for everything you've done and keep doing for me.

Love your only little girl forever and for always,

Victoria

 

PS: Sorry Mom I know you probably cried after reading this and I didn't mean to make you cry. I'll be down later to see you and give you a big hug. Love you <3

This Shouldn't Define Us

I know it took me a whole week to write another blog but the reason it took so long was because I wasn't sure how to come at this subject from my view and not point fingers. Peer pressure. It affects everyone at some point in their life, whether their 1 or 99 years old. I found out what peer pressure was the hard way and had no idea how to handle it. I just thought that if I ignored what was going on sooner or later it would disappear and I would have real true friends, but that just wasn't the case in my story; I'm hoping it was different for you.

The first time I actually tried to stand up to my 'friends' was when we were in the 9th grade (I know a long time of silence right). I always did my homework for school. I don't think there wasn't a time that I didn't do my homework, but I'm sure my mom could probably think of a few. Anyway I always had my homework done and some of my 'friends' (I say some and not all because only a few were doing this and they know who they are) who didn't do their homework used to threaten not to be my friend anymore and tease me if I didn't let them copy my homework in studyhall.

Me being the person that I am I just wanted to fit in and have everyone like me, so like an idiot I sat there and would let them take it and copy it. I think this went on for about a week until one day I didn't feel like giving them my homework. They called me a bitch and said I wasn't a good friend and then suddenly one of them grabbed my homework papers out of my hand and started to copy it. At this point I was crying and the teacher who watched the whole situation came over in a flash. He grabbed the papers from the girls told them to go outside in the hall to wait and told me to stay there just as the bell rang.

He closed the door and sat down. He asked if I was alright (which I wasn't because I was still crying) and what was going on. At first I lied and said nothing because I didn't want to get my 'friends' in trouble. I thought that if I told on them I wasn't a true friend. But somehow he knew I was lying without saying a word. He told me that friends shouldn't do this to other friends and that I shouldn't be letting people take advantage of me like that. But I wondered what was I supposed to do then have no friends?

After I was done crying he called ahead to my next class and let them know I was going to be late. He even called the teacher and let her know that my 'friends' had been stealing my homework from me for that class. Suprisingly enough she wasn't mad at me (I thought she would be). I'm not sure what happened with my other 'friends' because it was never brought up again between us. Yes we stayed friends even after that and I know I probably shouldn't have, but it was high school and I didn't want to not have any friends throught the most important years of my life.

This isn't the only time I've dealt with peer pressure and I know that I'll add more stories to my blog as time goes on so others can see that they're not alone in what their going through and possibly others can see the error of their ways and try to fix it. If your dealing with or have gone through something like this I hope that you had someone to stand up for you just like I had that teacher stand up for me in my time of need. It's not easy going through this phase that we call life and none one should have to do it alone.